"Thank You for Your Patience"

Your business is important to us, so please stay on the line listening to our abysmal hold music for the next ... 5 ... hours ... and ... 39 ... minutes. Making your customers wait is never a good idea - but if they're waiting for something they know that they want, they're more likely to wait a long time. Unfortunately, chances are, they don't know that they want something on the end of your insanely huge Web page, and so will click "Back" after only a couple seconds.