Do you make a distinction between your friends and your clients? In the case of many freelance web designers (myself included) many of our first jobs were for friends and relatives, so saying that my clients are not my friends is a bit misleading. But saying that my clients are my friends is also misleading in other ways. This article will look at some of the common benefits and problems to being friends with your clients.
Friends First, Clients Second
For most beginning web designers our first clients are our friends and relatives. And this is a great way to start your business. Since they are your friends, they will probably be easier on you with criticism or it will be easier to accept their feedback. They will probably be less reluctant to tell you (which could be good or bad).
But, when you design sites for people who are your friends (or relatives), they may expect more from you than you would otherwise give to a client. For example, if your mom calls at 2am to say her site has a typo, will you fix it for her? Would you have done that if she wasn’t your mom? (And, I know, there are people out there who would, but I don’t recommend it.) Friends can come to expect unreasonable things of you because of your friendship, and it can be very difficult to fire a friend as a client.
But Networking is Important
One of the best ways to find new clients is to network with people. And networking means being friendly, if not actively seeking friends. The freelancers with the most work are often the ones who also have the most friends. And making friends can lead to more clients – either them or their friends that they recommend you to.
Clients First and Then Friends
When you have clients that you are friendly towards they may consider you friends even if you consider them clients. This is where it can get tricky. And the best solution is to not blur the lines. Here are some examples I’ve seen among other freelancers I know:
- Clients become friends when the freelancer needs something.
I know one freelancer who calls all her clients “clients” except when she wants something from them that is outside the scope of their contract, then she says they are her friends. She should remember that really, the only people who are paid to be friends are escorts and prostitutes. She is, in my opinion, abusing her clients and manipulating them by calling them friends when she wants something. - Mooching freelancers
I had one group of freelancers that I knew who spent tons of time “networking” at a friend’s house, eating his food and chatting with each other. The friend happened to be a wealthy client of one of the group. This group should keep in mind that if the client ever starts feeling abused, they are all going to be tarred with the same brush. - Clients that become more demanding as they feel the relationship changing
This is the most common scenario I’ve seen, where the designer starts out with a strict client-designer relationship, and as that changes, the client becomes more demanding and difficult. When criticized, I had one client like this say “but I thought we were friends?” It’s not a good idea to have a different policy for friends than for clients.
How to be Friendly but Professional
The technique you need to master to be a good freelancer is the ability to be friendly, but professional. Here are some guidelines to follow:
- Always have a written contract. Even if the job is with your mother or your best friend since first grade. A written contract protects both you and your client and your friendship.
- Don’t play favorites. Or if you must, don’t do it in front of other clients. Most clients will accept that some jobs are more important than others. But if you are constantly blowing off the smaller clients in favor of your one wealthy one, trust me, your other clients will notice. And unless that wealthy client is willing to finance your mortgage on their own, you still need the smaller ones.
- Don’t talk about one client in front of another. This is just professional common sense, but I am often amazed at how many freelancers don’t practice it. If you tell stories about one client, how are your other clients to know that you’re not telling stories about them? They may laugh at your gossip to your face, but then turn around and start looking for another designer behind your back.
- Be consistent with all your clients. If you send birthday cards to two of your clients, you should make an effort to send cards to the rest as well. You never know when they will meet, and hurt feelings don’t engender good relationships.
- Don’t use friendship to manipulate people. As a freelancer, you will have friends, but you should never use that friendship as a way to get something from people. The freelancer I know who did that now has a lot more trouble getting clients, as word of mouth about her attitudes has spread. She’s still in business, but who knows how long that will last.
Keep in mind that being friends with your clients doesn’t have to be bad. Some of the best jobs I’ve had have been for clients that were or became friends. But if you find yourself cringing when they introduce you as their friend. Or you only think of them when they owe you money, then they are probably just clients. And that’s how you should keep it.
